Mall Haikus

Paying for parking

Don’t forget your space number

Fuck. Not a great start.

 

Oh no, what’s that smell?

Six bucks for just a pretzel?

Don’t mind if I do.

 

Okay, now we shop.

Where is the directory?

This should be an app.

 

Let’s start at Macy’s.

Oh my god, there’s seven floors?

That’s overwhelming.

 

So many children.

Why did you bring them all here?

Seems very stressful.

 

Please don’t talk to me

I don’t want your cream sample

I have my own cream.

 

Piercing Pagoda.

Should I go be impulsive?

Not today, Satan.

 

A Radio Shack.

That’s been closed, for like, a year

Is now just a shack.

 

Why won’t these jeans fit?

They’re in my regular size…

It’s probs the pretzel.

 

Walks into a store

“Hi! Do you need any help?”

No thanks, just looking.

Alright, time to go.

Walks through the Barnes & Noble.

Spends $200 bucks.